Intolerant !ndia

The recently elected government has appointed Mr. Asahishnu Bandhkar as the Minister for Bans, Protests and Intolerance yesterday. He interacted with media personnel from his plush office at Virodh Bhawan. He says, ‘I am honored to be bestowed with such a responsibility and I promise that I will be more repellent that you can ever imagine.’

Mr. Bandhkar has had an illustrious career in the line of bans and protests. He has been a Magna cum Laude alumni of International School of Religious Intolerance Studies. During his college days, he was credited with organizing 38 mega bandhs, 112 protest marchs, 48 dharanas and 5 instances of show-throw… and this is just in his first year. His professor, Mr. Banedict Spitter fondly remembers that he would always be the first to make provocative statements and vitiate the environment.

As his first move after taking the chair, Mr. Bandhkar pelted stones at the wall. When asked about that by mediapersons, he said, ‘Oh sorry…it was just due to habit.’ He apologized and promised that the next time it will be an eminent personality that is at the receiving end of the stones. He also congratulated the litterateurs for joining the protest brigade and returning their awards. He was planning to bestow them with more awards for this act of bravery so that they can return them as well.

He plans to reorganize the ministry and has given set targets to the workers on a minimum number of incidents of arson, bandh, dharanas and riots. An insider, on the condition of anonymity, said that due to the steep targets their lives would be hell in future and they would ensure that the common public gets to know that.


The country has seen a spell of peace and quiet for a long time and this appointment is for sure the betterment of the nation for what we are if not a nation of illogical outrage and protests.

Comments

  1. Very well written. You always manage to hit the nail on the head.
    I wonder, if a few years down the line, we would be able to uphold the principles of constitution which are said to be the pillars of our democracy. India is really becoming intolerant.

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